Or should I rather say : “ok bye, moving on”, “yeaaaaaaah lets open THAT door”, “I’m so excited I feel my heart beat all the time!”
Yeah, this is it, mates. I’m leaving my home country behind, and i’m moving to South Africa.
So far, I’ve heard all kind of comment about this. From “that’s totally irrational and unnecessary”, to “that’s so great, it’s just like you to do this!”
I decided that I could hear everything, take advices here and there, but nothing will make me change me course.
When I feel a bad vibe, I immediately pull away.
This is good, it’s a healthy decision. This kind of choice will set me free.
I feel these last years, I’ve grown lazy and most of all, scared. Scared I didn’t have it in me, scared to go out there and say whatsup to the world.
Dude I’m still scared, like a mofo, but I’ll do it anyways.
I want to wake up under a sunny sky and do the things I was meant to do: go creative all the way. And I’m looking forward to do so in a gigantic country. Let’s just say that when you think that SA has 11 official languages, …. can you imagine the amazing diversity? How it has an impact on art, design, .. mostly everything really! How beautiful, how exciting!
Anyways, so here’s the deal.
In a month or so, I’ll normally be on a plane, with my hubby and my 2 years old daughter, and my 14 years old dog.
All our life’s will be packed and taped. Some boxes will follow us, some we will try to sell now.
I will hopefully have my spouse visa (greg is South African) and my daughter’s papers will be in order.
Seriously, the most boring part about moving out, especially in another country, is all the administratif things you have to do.
I hang in there, hoping to be done with it as soon as possible. Because it’s so stressful.
It’s not just the papers, man, it’s combined with emotions around you. Your family and friends start to realise they won’t see you when they want. Every time looks like a last goodbye it’s terrifying.
I’m not going in that sad place right now, I can’t. I need to move on and be efficient. I can’t do that if my emotions are all over the place.
Compartmentalise. And I’ll deal with them later on, when I’ll be almost gone.
I’ve heard last week that after death, getting a divorce and moving out are equally the second most stressful event in a human life. Allright, noooooted!
Ok. Advices to myself now:
The most important : do a precise list of what needs to be done!
Communicate/share that list to the other persons who move with you. So the tasks can be dispatched. Everyone should have some cool and some wtfff choirs.
Also, accept that some days are just plain shitty. Those days, tell your partner that you won’t be doing anything for the trip, at all, all day long. That you need a quick break. It I’ll recharge your motivation batteries, take that time to do at least one thing you like.
Accept when the other are having a shitty day and take the lead.
Be reliable. Cause having a weak member in the choirs chain sucks for the entire process.
And don’t let the stress take your mind and body. It won’t help. As a matter of fact, it will make it so much worst!
Listen to yourself, trust yourself. You only, know what you are capable of doing, and you need to follow your instinct in order to do so.
To be honest, for the moment, the only thing that keeps me going, is the perspective to be almost done with my ancient life. I know it’s sad to say this. But I’ve waited so long to dare daring. Now that I jumped, I need to feel another land under my feet. And right now, I don’t yet…
Talk to you soon about it,
Cheers mes petits chouxxx de Bruxelles.
PS 3 months later : it’s a Cape Town drawing, but we ended up in Johannesburg:)